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I've been a guest on more than 40 podcasts, talking about desire, fantasy, lasting longer, sex clubs and how couples actually stay close. Here are the conversations, grouped by topic and newest first within each group.
Latest: The Secret of Erotic Blueprints To Revive Your Marriage, Stronger Marria...
"I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything works fine when I'm alone. But with her, I don't know, it's like I'm broken."
I hear some version of this from men over and over. Many of them seem to be sitting on top of the world: successful professionals, in relationships, well put together. To an ...
A couple I worked with had been together for six years. They shared a bed, a lease, friends, and holiday traditions. They had never once had a real conversation about money.
He paid for groceries and dinners out. She covered takeout. They each bought their own plane tickets and split the rest of th...
You're having a lovely evening. Then your partner makes one comment, maybe about the dishes, maybe about your mother, and suddenly the person you adore feels like the enemy.
My late teacher and mentor, John Welwood, had a way of explaining that moment that changed how I see relationships. It's in a...
An online sex class won't fix a relationship. Nothing you watch on a screen will.
What it can do is give two people a shared language for something most of us were never taught to talk about. That's worth more than it sounds.
What a class gives you that talking alone often doesn't
Most couples do...
How many times have you been poked by someone you love? And how many times have you poked them, without meaning to?
Most of us could make a long list. I've been thinking about this through an old story, the fable of the porcupines.
The fable
The idea goes back to the philosopher Arthur Schopenhau...
You're both in the kitchen at the end of a long day. Someone's scrolling, someone's loading the dishwasher. Nobody's fighting. Nobody's really connecting either.
Moments like that are where closeness quietly drains away, or quietly builds. And a lot of it comes down to four phrases:
- I love you. ...
Most people who tell me they "can't do dirty talk" aren't short on desire. They're short on practice.
The words feel strange in their mouth. They hear themselves say something sexy out loud and want to disappear under the covers.
That's normal. Dirty talk is a skill, and every skill feels clumsy a...
You text. They reply three hours later. You text again. They go quiet. Now you're anxious and they're annoyed, and neither of you is sure how you got here.
That's a relationship dynamic: a pattern you fall into together, again and again. Not one bad night. A loop.
I've been working with couples si...
A good book can do something a session can't: it sits on your nightstand and waits for you.
These are the books I recommend most often, alongside my one-on-one work and The Sex Class. Some are about sex. Many aren't, at least not directly. They're about attention, kindness toward yourself, and how ...
The questions people are embarrassed to ask out loud are the ones I care about most. Since 2016, HuffPost reporters have brought a lot of them to me.
Here's every HuffPost piece I've been featured in, grouped by the question it answers. Find the one closest to yours, read it, then try the small ste...
"It just wasn't right." I hear that all the time about relationships that ended. When I ask what "it" was, most people can't say.
Often, "it" was a need that went unmet, sometimes for years, and never got named. If you don't know what you need, you can't ask for it. And if you don't know what your ...
